So what makes a man attractive to women, exactly?First thing’s first…Let’s talk about the huge mistakes guys make in attracting high-quality women or higher quality than what they are currently seeing.
And also how to do it really effortlessly so it’s really integrated and natural into your life.
Every week, guys are reaching out to me looking for help asking me what makes a man attractive.
And so often I hear, “Oh, I don’t know what to say and what to do.”
Does that stuff apply?
Sure it does, but it’s so much more small part of the picture if you want this to be effortless in attracting women.
There is where it’s about the psychology behind attraction, and this is where I love to make distinctions.
This is about transformation NOT information, in the end.
Yes, information can do a lot for us but without transforming ourselves, we can’t actually have it be effortless.
And this has to do with what I simply call “identity shifting.”
For whatever reason in our society and culture, you just taught who you are. You are either this guy or that guy. Either have or you don’t with women.
So what are you supposed to do when you don’t know what makes a man attractive to women, especially the beautiful ones.
But it also applies with you trying to get advice from friends or family or anybody and they tell you to do this and that or try stuff with women, give your number or ask for theirs.
But if you’re not the right kind of guy that they’re already attracted to no matter what you do, it’s not going to work.
Sometimes I’ll see comments from guys on Facebook saying, “she should like me for me.” And they’re really angry and resentful.
And maybe they’re still living at home with their mom. Maybe but probably not.
You’re probably not going to attract her. I know I just could be how I am and it’s this idea that we’re static. There’s no zero truth to the fact that we’re static personalities or identities.
There’s actually part of psychology around personality change. It’s often related because we have different habits. But we’re still who we are, we’re still that same authentic person.
Teaching you a little about language here. The word authentic has the root word “auth”, same as author.
So the game here is the author, that best version of ourselves and becoming it. That’s where the real power is in learning what makes a man attractive, and becoming that best version of ourselves.
That’s what I spend a lot of my time with my clients on because that, not only creates change but has it stick so you are the type of guy that women find irresistible and ultimately your ideal woman for that relationship that you really want deep down from your heart.
So focusing even on, “what do I do, what do I say, what’s the right thing in this situation?”
This and that which also has guys in their heads a lot. And the guy that women are attracted to aren’t the guy that’s stuck in his head that creates hesitation and freezing, etc.
When it gets too much method and strategy without actually having identity and identity to back it up which is an entire belief system that generates that identity. It doesn’t matter.
I hope this is hitting home with you. I hope this is landing because it’s a huge mistake to focus on habits and behaviors of what to do and say with women or interacting socially, instead of who you are but you have to first understand that you can change who you are.
And it’s not only how it works, it’s imperative that you do. And if what you’re currently doing doesn’t work, you’ve got to do something different.
I spoke to a guy the other week who’s only attracting average women and he wanted to keep using the same strategy and he’s also focused on strategy instead of who is actually being.
And he found how to make it work with these women but the higher quality women wouldn’t pay him time of the day.
And that’s we get attached to a particular identity version of ourselves because look, are you the same identity as you were when you were six?
No.
How about 21? How about 40? How about 50? 60? Depending what age you are here.
If you actually take an honest look and go back to your life, you’re not. Well, maybe you are and I think that’s kind of sad if you are.
That means you haven’t really grown up and changed. And change which I believe is the ultimate thing to do on this planet.
Certainly, a lot more fun when we grow, evolve, and change because in my world you either grow or you’re dying. That’s true in business, for sure.
I think it’s true in life. Or it’s a dead version of life instead of a living version of life.
Many people do without growing, evolving, and changing – and learning what makes a man attractive to the women they want.
As one of my mentors always said, it’s about who you’re being.
It’s not about what you’re doing and what you’re doing comes from who you’re being but if it’s only about what you’re doing and the habits and behaviors then it’s only going to give you temporary or quick-fix results.
It’s what the pickup community has gotten so much flack for. It’s where I started my journey, after all.
And it was all about that. Even if a guy did get results, it became very superficial for people, very not feeling natural and integrated, not a real transformation in that sense.
Look, there are good things that have come out of the pickup bars community.
They’ve helped guys at least say, “hey, I could change something.” I don’t want to knock it and say it’s completely horrible but of course picking up is a certain mentality. It’s not flipping the script on becoming the guy that women are inspired to be around and actually start to chase.
I was talking to a client last night and he’s got 6 or 7 women chasing him. 4 of them are the kind of quality that eventually wants for a relationship.
So I said, “hey, cut loose for friend zone the ones who don’t meet your criteria.” Meaning characteristics, more than anything. And there’s no reason you’ve got enough.”
But he’s really focused on who he’s being. And a lot of that is giving value and not competing with other guys and playing this whole match warfare thing.
The best thing to win a competition is to not compete at all.
And luckily in the name of love, it can work this way. If you’re competing in the Olympics, a different story.
But luckily it works differently and that’s why we flip everything around, here.
Again, the number one focus here is focusing on, “what do I do, and all this informational stuff instead of who am I being, who do I show up as again covered in my Attraction on Command Masterclass and other videos, etc.
I just want to hit this main point that that’s what you need to focus on, the underlying foundational level of the IDENTITY of what makes a man attractive to a woman.
Otherwise, it’s just quick-fix stuff or band-aid stuff that doesn’t work in the long run.
Now let me ask you brother…Do you want to become the kind of guy who women get obsessed with?Are you facing roadblocks with attracting the beautiful and high quality women you desire – whether you want to casually date, have fun flings or find a ideal woman for a long-term relationship?
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